Consumed by work

It's 3:30 am, I came home from work at about 8 pm, ate dinner, fell asleep and then woke up at 12:30 am. I know I should be sleeping but I needed some time to surf the web and think.

I just started realizing that I've been using the "it's been a while" a little too often. Somehow, my spare time has been sucked up into an abyss and the only thing I've been doing is working, resting and going out on the weekends to relax. I've been at this life style pace for the last few months after my project has gotten significantly busier. It feels like I am missing something tangible, something measurable.

I don't feel like I am making real progress at work, nor does it feel like I am picking up skills that I consider to be highly valuable to me. What I am doing and learning right now, lacks impact, and yet I am toiling long hours at what I am doing. Sometimes, I wonder, for what am I working for.

I traveled through SE Asia almost 1.5 years ago. I loved my travels incredibly, it was one of the times that I felt the most alive. I remember my experiences vividly and I met so many amazing people along the way. My travels were inspiring, I felt alive, it was incredibly liberating. I've never felt so free in my life. I miss backpacking.

I've been busy and I've been tired. Even keeping keeping up with people feels like a chore for some reason. I've gotten tired of just hanging out with people. I've realize that I need more then that, I need a collection of people with inspiration and skill, people that I want to learn and share from, people that I can meet up with and when we go home, we've all gone away with something.

Now that I think of it, perhaps my surroundings haven't changed, I've probably set the bar higher.