Transience

Of the fond memories of coming back to Sendai is remembering all the interesting people I've met over the years. Many of them where international students from all over the world, most of them have gone back to their home countries. All of the ones that I have met were really nice people.

And now that I think of it, I haven't been in contact with most of them since they left. It makes me wonder, what are the characteristics of person that would make them your friend. Perhaps, I didn't articulate that well enough, but I also wonder what is the characteristics of the friend relationship. I've never really thought this before, not until coming back to Sendai, where I used to know a lot of people.

There are still many people that I know here, but I would only call out a few to hang out with. Many of the people I knew, were people I've met up along the way attending events or going out to my favorite bars where there were people I knew. We were all friends in passing. I've realized that I don't live here any more and my connection with these people has gone, though I would say that knowing them has brought plenty of joy while I've been living in Sendai. I've also started wondering about who are the people that I really want to spend time with, the people that I want to do things together with.

After moving away to Atsugi, I've realized that there are not that many people that pops into mind when I do want to do something. Many of the things that I really do enjoying, like going out on random walks or drives are the kinds of things that I enjoy doing on my own.

I have not found many people suited to my style of adventuring or perhaps, pace. Many of the things that I do enjoy doing now are the kinds of things that I can do on my own. Perhaps through some unconcious choices, I've chosen to lead a more solitary lifestyle. A kind of lifestyle where I can go on my own pace. It isn't just pace that I often find myself alone with, but the things I do and the kinds of things I like to think or talk about.

After joining my company and meeting the many new recruits that joined during the same year, there aren't many that I find myself hanging out with. I did hang out with them from time to time the first few months while at work, but the more I hung out with them, the more I realized that I never really did fit in with their conversations.

I met up with a good friend of mine in Sendai just yesterday for brunch. This friend of mine is an older lady in her 50's perhaps close to her 60's (I've never really bothered to ask), but she's always been volunteering and helping out new international students get settled in Sendai. I've always enjoyed our conversations, we would always discuss about our current traveling adventures, the interesting foods or places we've found or any interesting topics about different cultures.

She told me that she always found herself bored when she spent time with other housewives as they spent most of their time talking about the latest sit-coms or the cute clothing they bought for their children. She could never find inspiration in those conversations, but when it came to volunteering and helping out with the international students, there would always be plenty of interesting and fresh ideas.

The people that I find myself connecting the best with were with the international students. This afternoon, I found myself talking with a Columbian friend that has been living in Japan for the past 7 years, that is looking to go back home after graduating.

At this point, he was a little home sick and felt that it was time to go back home. As much as he had enjoyed his time in Japan and how significantly more money he could make by working over here, the place he called home was still Columbia. It was interesting discussing the whole traveling phase, but I suppose, at one point in a person's life, people living abroad will eventually have to pick a time to finally settle down.

I guess it is topics such as these that I would not find myself talking about with people that haven't had the opportunity to live in a foreign country. Especially with a normal Japanese colleague.

I have also found that I don't look at world events or the way of life in a different country the same anymore. I guess I've become more accepting of the differences and become far less judgmental. There are, of course times when I do think when things are wrong, especially when it comes to people getting annoyed at some parts of their own culture... it can be interesting sometimes at what stupid or silly things people end up doing as a result of "tradition."

But anyways, back to the topic of friends. So many people I've met through my time over here have come and gone. Everything has been so transient and perhaps I am looking for something that lasts. The question that I still need to figure out is what is the important ingredient that creates a strong bond between people.

I will leave myself to ponder over it for the next while...