Breaking Molds

So I've been at my lab for almost a year now (well sort of), officially accepted in October but been dropping in since April. I'll tell you a story about my life in lab and I want to let you guys know, as peachy and as much fun as I look like I'm having, there are some rough parts to life too. Who said that life was easy, right? And remember hindsight is 20/20 and that you can make things look like anything you like in hindsight...

When I first came to lab, I shared a set of desks with 2 professors and a research assistant. These people come in at 9:00 am and leave at midnight usually. I kid you not. Before I was officially accepted into lab, I came in in the afternoon hung out until the evening and then left. What I did was kind of crazy (more like scary for a normal person in the lab to do). I'm talking about this lab culture (not to be mistaken for other labs!) where people don't take their backpacks home in the evenings, the reason is because if they walk out with their backpacks everyone worries that the professors will know that they are going home. Heaven forbid that someone is going home EARLY, you know, like *before midnight.* No, it's just because it just feels a little embarassing to them.

I will have you know that not all labs are like this. There are other labs where the people are very cool, very friendly and easy going. Hell I played a little game with another lab where people played paper-scissors-rock with 12 people and the loser buys ice cream for everyone. It's silly but lots of fun (like many things in life).

For 4 months I stayed at my seat. Hell, I know that I didn't get along with one of the professors. The best part what that I sat in front for several months and I almost always came in later than him and left earlier.

I always said "good morning" or "hello" when I came into lab and I said "good night" or "bye" when I left. No one in lab ever says "good bye" to their professors when leaving. Honestly, I was always freaked when I said "bye" for the first while. Later on when other students graduated from the lab or moved up to other seats leaving vacancies in other parts of the lab, I was invited to move to another seat. Why? Because my seat was always the most "stressful seat" to sit in. I declined and decided to stick it out.

Part of me wanted to move to get out of that seat and another part of me wanted to stay to challange this culture. I learned this much, to anyone that is good at making choices, you have my respect. Making choices is real tough stuff, especially when it has implications for later on. Would it be something I regret later on? I wouldn't know. But I don't now, so things worked out (the entire lab got reorganized and the professors got their own desks away from me :P).

People feel like that they have to be working hard here. Fun? What is this fun you speak of? Work does not necessarly have to be serious, nor do you have to be serious while you work. Comming to these decisions (conclusions?) is not easy, life is exceptionally subtle, I will finally come to realize (I used to believe when I was younger that life was inherently obvious). There are many things that we take for granted, why things that the way they are... sometimes you just walk into a place and accept it for the what it is and sometimes because you're pulled into a spiralling trap without noticing it. I couldn't accept that lab life should be so serious. Don't get me wrong that everyone in lab is really serious, there are always exceptions and there are times when a few people are goofy. But do I need to explain everything with precision detail? Use your own reasonable judgement here...

But anyways, I am on a little bit of a tangent. Too many ideas in my head, screaming to get out. My only regret about the written medium is that it's linear and that one idea flows from one to the next. In reality, ideas are like nodes that inspire many other ideas. Remember that... anyways, back from tangent x2.

I am stating to become known for being the most "light hearted" person in lab. I leave early come in late sometimes and I do my best to disregard this entire "stress" thing. So far the professors have been happy about my presentations (though, presenting vs doing lots of real work are different things) so I've got a little bit of an image that I'm riding on. Realizing this, it becomes more so evident that if you can do the work efficiently put out some results that people are happy with then the amount of time you're spending at the lab shouldn't be an issue. But wait, it takes confidence to do that... and sometimes these people are a little lacking in that department (as for me, I think I'm gambling a little :P).

From now on my main working objectives is to work effectively as possible so I can make time to go out have fun or learn things that I'm interested in. Enough of this "pretending to work hard" bull crap, because if you're spending long hours at the lab, getting no reults (note, it is common for people to fall asleep at their desks here) and then get rapped on if you're a little behind then of course you're going to feel terrible! If you don't realize why things are happening the way they are then it'll eat you up pretty quick. I already know a few of the newly arrived students feeling the pressure, but for the most part, the other students are doing just fine.

Yeah, I have to say that the first part of my life here was a little rough and pretty stressful. It's easy to forget about the stress when things start to get better but there are times that I haven't slept well because of worrying too much. My 1 year anniversary of being in Japan is comming up and it's going to be interesting to look back at some old posts.

Moving to another country has been quite the educational experience.